During the end of the summer of 2016, there was a point where I was absolutely OBSESSED with my skin. My skin was acting up- way more than usual. There were bumps all over my forehead that I absolutely hates, and I also had more pimples around my eyebrows. I felt awful, although my skin probably wasn’t horrific, I just hated the bumps that never left.
I tried all types of things. Drinking water, changing my shampoo, not letting my hair touch my face, coconut oil scrubs. Nothing really seemed to work which frustrated me, because even my mom noticed how bad my face was.
I went on a google rampage. Like a full-blown every second of the day I was researching different remedies, possible causes etc. etc. I went pretty crazy. I took pictures of my forehead everyday to try and track down any differences.
The problem with my googling, is that most of the time, people mentioned acne medications that were over the counter that I didn’t want to try. Even though I was desperate for a “cure”, I was raised to be terrified of putting anything on my face. I never even touched a facial cleanser until this year because my parents warned me of possible effects it can have on my skin.
Anyway, a couple weeks after my full blown “Must-Fix-My-Skin” marathon, I went to my doctor for a physical checkup. Everything went fine, and she asked me if I wanted any medication for my bumps.
She literally just motioned to her forehead and asked, “Do you want any medication to get rid of these little guys?”
I was borderline uncomfortable, curious, and skeptical. Uncomfortable because she asked it kind of weird, curious because I wondered if it would work ,and skeptical because I’ve done so much reading about people sharing their problems with the “little bumps” on their forehead and nothing working that I didn’t trust my doctor.
My mom on the other hand was all for it. She was like, Yes! Why not, let’s try it! I was still saying “uhhhhh….” while she answered for me. The doctor shrugged, saying it’s not that big of deal and we can pick up the topical lotion downstairs.
Next she gave me a piece of paper with the name of the topical lotion and tips on dealing with “acne”.
And I was like- Woah. Wait, hold up. Acne?
I was very offended. In my mind yes, I do have a lot of little bumps, but they’re colorless and so I definitely DO NOT have acne. Please girl, acne is when it is a ridiculously serious case of dark red on your face right?
Let me tell you, I was so offended at that moment. A couple days later. There was no way I had acne. I had okay skin that acted up. Yes I had a couple pimples, but didn’t everybody? And yes my skin is no longer as smooth as it once was, but it wasn’t AWFUL.
I just couldn’t get over being prescribed “ACNE” medication. I felt hurt. Like I ruined some invisible trophy I had stashed somewhere that said “Congratulations, you have acceptably nice skin without the help of cleansers or medication”.
Basically I felt more accomplished if I got rid of my apparent acne with natural remedies rather than “giving up” and taking medication. Which isn’t even medication, it’s just topical lotion. I can’t explain this but I’m sure some of you feel the same way.
So I begrudgingly took the medication, still not believing that my face was bad enough for my doctor to notice and prescribe me some medication.
Of course it took me a couple days to even start using the medication. I was terrified. Like I said, my parents have repeated numerous times to never put stuff on my face or else I’ll breakout and never have clear skin.
So this little bottle of strong smelling liquid was basically the devil.
I read the instructions. Then re-read the instructions. Then went online to look at reviews of the medication. Then read the instructions that were online. And after a deep breath and a never-ending staring contest, I finally picked up the darn thing, shook it for like an hour because it said to “shake well” and lightly dabbed it on my forehead, scared that I would use too much and it would burn me or something.
And let me tell you, that stuff smelled extremely strong. Like I took rubbing alcohol and doused my face in it.
After a couple of weeks using that stuff, my face was definitely getting better. It was a slow transition, but my mom noticed that it was getting better. Of course I didn’t rely on it too much.
After a huge hurdle of not as many bumps on the side of my forehead, it cleared up some of the bumps in the middle.
I still use it right now, and I’m glad I used it. It cleared up my face, but my face is still not as pristine as before. AKA before I started college at least. It sucks, but I have to live with it.
After a couple of days after using this mystery topical lotion, I became okay with the word “acne”. I realized it shouldn’t be a scary word, and it shouldn’t be something that I find offensive. It’s ridiculous, I know, in a world filled with problems I was so centered on a simple word.
Anyway, humans are weird, and small things such as the texture of our skin can get us down so badly. I wanted “naturally” smooth skin so badly that I beat myself up for not being able to get it.
I realized that it might be genetic as well. My mom and her brother have had mild acne, so I don’t know why it never clicked that it might be genetic. And I’m pretty lucky that it’s not as sever as how my mom’s or my uncles has been. Honestly, people are always unsatisfied with what they have.
This post was a wild narrative, and mostly a mess I’m sorry guys! I just wanted to share what happened over the summer.
And now that it’s November, and I’m back in school, my skincare routine has taken a huuuuge hit and I no longer have a strict routine. It sucks, so I’ll definitely get back to exfoliating and moisturizing.
Guys, I never moisturize anymore and it’s freaking me out because all year last year I managed to moisturize everyday. Now I barely do it, unless I put makeup on. If you can’t tell from this statement, I rarely put makeup on.
So I still definitely want to work on getting a skincare routine, but at the same time, I don’t want my skin control the way I look at myself. It’s definitely going to be hard trying to work towards clear skin, without being disappointed if I don’t get the results I want.
I guess the way to go would be to look at skincare as something to treat myself with, not necessarily having an end goal, but the process should be what’s fun. I mean, who doesn’t love a good pamper day?
So, I’ll try to get back to my bare bare bare basics routine of moisturizing and exfoliating. After that, then I’ll try to tackle more things. But as for now, I think I have to put myself in that “SKINCARE IS FOR FUN DAMN IT AND IF YOU GET RESULTS THEN HELL YEAH BONUS” mentality. Obviously if something doesn’t work out I won’t continue screaming “THIS IS JUST FOR FUN ANYWAY HAHAH WAHETVER”.
Anyway, so I hope you guys thought this little slice of my life was entertaining enough to read. How are your skincare routines going? Any of you feel a slight stigma towards using anything not necessarily considered “natural” when it comes to skincare (ahem over the counter drugs lol)?
If you guys have any skincare tips I’d love to hear them!!