College Crisis: That Thing I do Where I Keep my Options Open and Never Commit to Anything

So for some reason, I have this habit where I want to do sooo many things, that I end up doing absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip. It’s so frustrating! I can’t believe I do this honestly. It’s been happening for the past year in my first year, and it’s happening right now. I waste so much of my time looking at the opportunities to do things, that I never even have the chance of ACTUALLY doing them.

Okay, so does anyone else suffer from this?

I’m going to give yall some examples.

So this past quarter in college, I was completely frustrated with the fact that I wasted it doing absolutely nothing. Like I didn’t join any clubs, or anything. I felt like a sad little lump without any extra activities. So obviously, I’m ridiculously thirsty for some activity for next quarter, that I search far and wide for a chance to do something.

I look at internships, I look at research opportunities, jobs, clubs. There are hours upon hours wasted just searching the internet for these opportunities that will be eternally bookmarked but never looked over carefully.

My goal is to find something, but I can never seem to sit down, carefully read something, think about it, until the opportunity itself is gone. POOF! Deadlines pass whirring around me, making me panic.

In my mind, there’s always got to be something better. What if I don’t like it? What if there’s something better fitting for my major? etc. etc. It’s awful guys. I literally have so many bookmarks that I don’t remember what a single thing is about.

SO, after realizing this and being so ridiculously frustrated at my mass search and save mission, I think I’m going to try and simmer down, pick ONE option, work on it then move on to another if I have time.

I honestly can’t try to apply to thirty different things- it’s just not going to work. Everything would just be a jumbled up mess.

I never really thought I wanted an internship since it’s difficult without a car (the internships are like thirty minutes away from campus by car and an hour by bus). But honestly, now that all the internships are filled up, I feel an aching sadness within me. I wish I read over them much more carefully to realize that YES!! I was pretty interested in some of them. They sounded great!

UGH! It’s just frustrating that I know of so many opportunities and I just let them slip through my fingers. Rejection is hard, but at least it shows you tried. My problem is that I don’t even have the chance to try. It’s frustrating!!

So guys, wish me luck as I try and figure my life out. It’s an awful cycle that goes from:

-Being frustrated about doing “nothing”.

-Panicking & violently looking for opportunities to do “something”.

-Saving up all of these opportunities in a “think about it later when you have time” folder.

-Never looking at anything until the last minute.

-RE-looking at opportunities.

-Missing deadlines.

-Regret.

-AAAAND back to step 1.

Guys, not fun. I want to do an internship or research but I don’t even have a RESUME. I don’t know what college resumes want. So I’m going to my school counselor/peer advisors tomorrow to see if they can help me create a resume so that I don’t mope around all the time.

Do you guys have any tips on this besides JUST STICK WITH SOMETHING? Or hell, even just TRY ONE THING.

This is also the reason why I haven’t sent in any scholarship essays. My serial bookmarking skills are horrendously great.

Ahh well, I hope my next update is a little more motivational. My life right now is fine (aside from this lil rant I just had to get out) Hope all your lives are swell!

-Kae

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s