Food Fails: Oh Glorious Green Tea, Why do you Need 8 Ibs of Sugar to Taste Good?

So I tried making the 3 ingredient Green Tea Ice Cream, and a super super simple iced Green Tea Latte. Okay yes I was tired of paying 5-6$ at starbucks every time I wanted a GTL fix. The iced green tea latte was fine. It tasted similar to it, of course sans the sugar so there was a little bit of a difference. The 3 ingredient green tea ice cream on the other hand, was a total and utter failure!!

Because I’m new at trying to record my food fails, I have no pictures…I’m sorry! I’ll post a couple sad ones up.

So the first thing that I tried was the Green Tea Latte. I googled it, and I was SHOOK. The simplicity of the recipe seemed like a trap. There was no way it could be that easy and not taste like absolute crap.

A Basic Summary of all the googled Green Tea Latte Recipes:


  • Matcha Powder (1 tbsp)
  • Milk (a whole glass full is what I ended up using)


  1. mix.


LIKE WHAT THE HELL. No way. No waay it’s that easy. For iced latte’s add ice, and for hot latte’s there’s a more complicated thing you can do to add froth but I’m not about that life and I just want plain iced green tea latte’s.

It honestly tasted pretty good. I liked it a lot and I feel like it tasted just like the starbucks one. Here are some tips though:


  1. Use real dairy milk if you can. As in not 1%, not 2%, but whole milk. I tried to use almond milk, and the bitterness of the matcha powder was overwhelming and disgusting. Or use less matcha. Wow damn, okay yeah, use less matcha.
  2. Add creamer. Just lil bit. No idea if this actually helps but I did and it tasted better. I’m in no ways going for healthy here now that I realize. Creamers sweet right? Damn, I need to lay off sweets.
  3. I prefer no sugar due to my pre-diabetic condition. Ugh, not that I’ve been healthy. But yeah lay off the sugar you can do it!! Obviously if you cannot handle the power of matcha powder, then I suggest adding sugar or some other ingredient to dull down the bitterness.


Overall Rating of a Homemade DIY Green Tea Latte for Dummies: 4/5.


Fancier Recipe for a hot latte w/ FROTH:

Simple AF one :

One dedicated to replicating the holy starbucks GTL:



This was an utter disappointment. I first got the idea from the youtuber krist. It looked so damn good I had to try it myself.

It looks delicious doesn’t it?

So then I followed her link to the actual recipe which is:

I thought, holy crap, this is also ridiculously easy!


  • matcha powder (1tbsp or to taste)
  • 3 bananas
  • 3 tbsps full fat coconut milk (or other non dairy milk)
  • sugar/sweetner/toppings.


  1. freeze bananas overnight. cut them up first!
  2. blend all ingredients together!
  3. re-freeze if need be.

Matcha Powder packet’s I bought at Daiso because I can’t commit to an actual pot of matcha.

I followed everything except I used almond milk since I didn’t have coconut milk. Was this my fatal flaw? Nope.

I blended everything and it looked so promising. Blending took a while since I was fooling around with the different blending types (dough/blend/ice crusher). I found that after a violent ice crushing setting, then the blend setting, dough was actually the best once it was mostly cut up.

But basically, my bananas were so ripe. I’m talking almost black, that it was waaaay to sweet. Disgustingly atrociously over-ly banana-y. So much banana taste that it was overpowering and and overwhelming.


End result. I am so sorry if you are disgusted. Is it baby food? No. It’s my sad guac looking green tea banana concoction.

Will I try this again?

Maybe, I’m really pissed at the extreme banana taste. But I feel like it would be better to just go full out and try to make real green tea ice cream. Which would be even harder. Who knows.

But I don’t think my almond milk substitute was the problem since someone in the recipe comments said they replaced it with almond milk and it was totally fine.

I’m going to go in for a round two, but maybe when I get back to my apartment. I’m at home right now for spring break! (WOO I’M SO WILD TRYING OUT GREEN TEA RECIPES!!)

I always suck when I follow recipes because I never completely follow them. I’m but a human. Even if I do follow it to the tee something goes wrong anyway. But I am a warrior! I am ready to fight!

Lesson of the Day?

Green tea needs hella sugar to taste good, and hella less banana to be acceptable.

So of you guys have any tips or other recipes I can try please tell me! I’m trying to get into cooking/baking/kitchen-ing!

Have a great rest of the day/night!






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