During spring break, I fantasized about the extremely wonderful spring quarter that I was going to have. It would be sunny, warm, exciting! I would take fantastic notes, do well in my classes and meet so many new people and join so many clubs! Suffice to say, spring quarter started nowhere close to what I expected, but I’m not mad at that. (Okay maybe a little).
I wanted the most magical quarter in my entire college career. That won’t be hard to beat considering I’ve had a pretty monotone and steady experience in college if you zoom out and look at my life drama trend line.
College life summed up:
-Went to classes- ate- slept- complained- ate- slept- complained- classes- etc.
I’ve been feeling a little better about my college life, although I feel like I’ve wasted a large portion of my life doing nothing. But hey, never too late to start guys!
Back to the point of this blog: Spring quarter.
Last year, spring was so beautiful. It was so sunny by the time I came back from spring break, and the weather rapidly escalated to the point where it felt like there was a heat wave everyday. I loved the sun after being in the cold for so long, so sunlight was a gift.
And it was the same thing this year. I came back from break and it was so sunny, and peaceful and wonderful.
The first week.
Then the weather it went from a sweet angelic child to spoiled brat that loved to mess with everyone else’s life. The sun was covered up by gloomy storm clouds and it began sprinkling, then raining, and tomorrow there’s a thunderstorm. “April Showers” would be a great excuse if I didn’t live in California.
But I’m in California damn it, the deadline to release leftover rain passed a couple weeks ago.
Either way, I was still so determined to start this quarter off right.
But, the first day back, I already stopped paying attention to my professor about halfway through the lecture and succumbed to the evil temptation of scrolling through facebook.
Terrible idea? Hell yeah.
Second class, I found an acquaintance I sort of knew from fall quarter, had a little chat, then class started. Once again, stopped paying attention midway.
Third, same thing- actually I don’t think I bothered trying.
Fourth class of the day, I wanted to die. I immediately wanted to drop the class and searched for some GE I could take besides that class.
I was dead tired by the end of the day, and I felt “meh”. Not awful, not great, just right in the middle.
My research lab didn’t meet for two whole weeks which gave me so much free time, I wasted all my days away.
I stayed up late (I’m writing at 2am right now), and I only bothered to do the bare minimum.
This is definitely not how I intended the quarter to start.
So why the hell did I need this start?
Because it gave me time to rest. To replenish my energy, and to become motivated again. I worked so damn hard last quarter, that I burnt out all the way until the start of spring quarter.
My psych professor mentioned how we can only feel one emotion for so long until we burn it out and drop down. I feel like my excitement and motivation for the quarter was used up during spring break where I fantasized about the “perfect quarter”. Not to mentioned winter quarter was hell-ish.
So I needed those mornings of sleeping in and not having to worry about what to do that day. I needed those days of staying in my apartment and playing guitar or watching my shows.
I needed a mental break from the “go, go, go”, and “why aren’t you doing more more more” mentality. It seemed that I was only satisfied if I was completely exhausted, and I don’t think that’s the goal we should be aiming for.
When I laid around in my apartment doing absolutely nothing, I was in a somewhat accepting and peaceful state of mind. Yes, of course I would complain “ohhh I didn’t do ANYTHING all day” as all college students might say every once in a while. Or for me all the time.
But there was no actual pang of deep regret and remorse in comparison to fall quarter where I felt so icky staying in my apartment. I felt trapped fall quarter, but now staying inside my apartment felt like a relaxing treat. Something I can embrace.
While I refuse to believe I made any progress with my life this year, I think I have to stop and recognize all the things that I have done, and that at times I do deserve a break.
There’s so much more I can do, and there are so many more ways I can grow, but instead of beating myself up for not being able to get there right away, I should applaud my progress and use my progress as motivation to keep going forward.
So here’s to a “not so hot start” to spring quarter, but also an “I will not be defeated” spring quarter!
It’s never to late to try and get your quarter the way you want it to go!!
How’s everyones spring lives so far? Going great? Meh? Anyone experience similar things?